I'm...

In Lebanon!!!!

Feeling Lebanese wind blow on my cheek for the first time in two years made my heart flutter my tears run and my anger almost dissapear. I really thought that I was forgotten just like always that the person who was supposed to meet me at the airport overslept or just simply forgot about my existens which isn't that hard to do.

Well I took a cab and got home so all is good, I have only been here for two days and so much have already happened I wish I could share half of the things but no words can describe it or how I feel. Got to go see ya soon inshallah!

Just a feeling!

Just had to share this with you guys, nervous, nervous, nervous, nervoussssss!

Not any shopping daY

BuT a Shopping daY planed By my Favorites!

My legs are killing me but it's so worth it! It has been a while since I last went shopping so me going all in today left its mark. The best part was my company though, thanks princess and  umzahraa for the treat and this day.

Komawoo Giddo for coming along even though you really felt uncomfortable doing that. Maya and Kadde great company too bad you had to leave early. A great day spent with great people what more can I ask for? Best early birthday gift ever!

Life is what you make it!

My heart is beating and I wake up every day breathing why not make the most of it?

I don't really know what's been going on with me lately but I feel great somehow. I mean the trip to Lebanon is knocking on the door and I'm stressed out trying to finish everything related to school; before I go to my practice (in Lebanon) so that I can graduate in peace when I come back.

Wow I haven't visited that place in two years now and so much happened since then. You know what I shall consider this a test that I have to pass. Even though this trip in many ways just feels bothersome I'm still nervous (in a good way) excited and really happy to be able to see Bestiiis.

Damn I miss that girl! So instead of letting all the bad stuff take over I'm gonna kick its as! I won't let my heart beat for nothing and every breath I take will ask for more...

To blog!

My blogging days are so NOT over!

Howdy readers!
I'm back and hopefully recharged, I can't believe that I once again was going to give up something I really like because of stupid reasons.

My past days have been all about reading blogs, meeting Jandhi and Giddo and working on my graduation project (Thanks for the feed back Lola). Thanks for all your comments, they were one of the main reasons to why I'm not quitting this thing!

To blog...

or not to blog?

I don't know for how long I stared at the screen asking myself what I should write about. A lot of things came to mind but none of them had the guts to go public. I'm starting to ask myself why I'm still writing a blog, when I clearly can't say what's on my mind.

Scared of friends being hurt in some way, scared of giving too much information, scared about not being able to keep the image I've created through my writing.  Should I really continue writing? Is it worth it? Are you even enjoying reading about how my boring, too happy and suddenly too dramatic life is passing by? Is it time for me to let go of my blogging or should I continue?

No anger, no more regrets

not even dissapointed in you...
Trying to find answers to how I felt wasn't really what I needed because I already knew exactly how I felt. Staying away from my friends that day wasn't a complete bad idea since I was being a jerk to everyone around me, but saying things out loud to someone who reacted in a perfect way was just perfect!

I had this urge to visit my old playground and forced myself through the heavy snow to reach the swings. I sat there watching magpies flying and thinking of how great it was always having them there. I decided to stop by Giddo because going home wasn't really what I wanted to do at that second.

It was the greatest thing to do, I admitted things out loud and you know what, those who are ignorant of the truth should stay that way because the truth would change nothing, especially how I feel today! You were gone a long time ago but my notebook kept your name in secret until yesterday. Finally my anger is gone!

The DaY

I thought couldn't get worse :D

I've been asking myself the same question over and over again, How do I feel? I tried blocking my friends opinions about this thing, once and for all to do it my way, because I've recently realized that I somehow make their opinions mine.  So how do I feel?

The first day I decided to face myself, ended up with me sleeping until 7pm and woke up to watch korean dramas until I saw an email from my teacher saying that I'm far from finishing my graduation project (The Book) I felt his dissapointment in the email. Well I do understand him I mean my major is graphic design so I should've been illustrating more pictures.

So from trying to understand myself and how I really feel about a certain situation ended up with dissapointments and Illustaiting pictures. I still don't know where I stand but I'm being really moody which my poor  family have been putting up with...

Komawooo

Thanks Giddo for staying upp all night and correcting the Novel....TWICE, thanks Jandhi for taking your time to correct 17 whole pages! Having friends studying to become an English teacher is great but having friends like you studying for that is awsomeness, Komawoo shingos your da best! My F3 shingo's forever <3 

Here's a summary of my novel *** :)

A story about a Muslim girl named Zahra born and raised in Sweden where her parents escaped to during the civil war in Lebanon. She was only 16 years old when she first realized her dream and started working for it while other were falling inlove. Zahra had Lebanon as her first target wanting to make a difference there. Destiny took her to Iraq one day to experinece blood, pain and tears not only because of the war but also because of her falling inlove with a none believer.

Wohoooooooo!

I finally finished my book!

The cover and the book are almost ready for printing can't believe that I'm done!The only thing left is to correct it before contacting the printer and the best part is that I'm going to do it with my friends who will be the first people reading that book :D