Is it reaLLy happening?

Really Moving ouT?

I layed down on my bed tired from all the packing and dizzy from all the dust, falling asleep thinking about how unreal everything seems.

I finally graduated and will be on my way to Lebanon soon with most of my belongings and some extra stuff from IKEA for my new place. But somehow I feel that me moving out is everything but reality. Worried about finding an apartment ,worried about failing and coming back, worried about something or more likely someone getting in my way, feeling guilty for leaving my mom who says stuff like: "my heart leaves with everyone who leaves this house hold".

I don't think I'll really get it before I enter the apartment (that I haven't found yet) with all of my luggage, It's so weird packing all of your things from home that you have to take with you or leave in the basement to erase your trace from your parents home.

My sister has already cleared my desk leaving only framed pictures of me as if I was dead or something. My sister was even taking about redecorating our room and getting rid of my bed even my bed I always have to remind her that this room will alway be mine too and that I need to sleep somewhere when I come to visit home hoping for her to not get rid of my bed.

I have this whole summer to live comfortable and safe as always with my parents so I'll enjoy it :)